She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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