i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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