I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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