i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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