He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
