He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
