Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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