The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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