you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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