ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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