He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
