he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
