six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
