sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
