Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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