Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
accomplished twins. life is a go
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
