Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
