So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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