Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
