I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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