Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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