so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you win again, gameday.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
