I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
