I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
