DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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