Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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