i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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