Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
