I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
