we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
