Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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