come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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