if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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