I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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