if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
