We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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