i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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