My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
