If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
