You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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