I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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