Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
