Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
