Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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