Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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