Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
