There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
God I need to hump something, right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
