Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Send help, water and tortillas.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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