i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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