omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
