But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
