the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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