So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
