we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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