Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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