I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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