belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
