im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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