A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The best revenge is premature balding
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize