Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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