2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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