sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
