hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
