I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
