32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
