So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
