my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
