Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
