So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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