My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
