yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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