he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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