and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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