Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
