I want to make a zoo with you.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
