Your dad touched me again.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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