Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
