We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
