Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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