we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
