Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
