I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
