Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
