Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
